San Tanntonn, avec Jean-Claude Chilly

Bonjour and bienvenue to ze capeetal of ze Ostreean skiing, oui? San Tanntonn ees 'ostin ze two sousand and un World Championsheeps and ees one of ze best ski resorts een ze world, non? Ze slopes are right oop zere wiz Chamoniz, Zermatt, Whistler and ma great, steenkin sniffer.

Eet's mostlee an expert's resort, wiz truly owsomme off-peeste, moguls and powdair. Ah go all ze time, impressin' ze laydees wiz my skis and poles. One pole een particular, n'est ce pas? Ze boarders also like eet 'ere, which really peeses me off. Zey come 'ere wiz zair smelly 'air and grubby cloze, sinkin zat everybody sinks zey are ze coolest sing depuis sliced baguettes. Zey know nahhsing.

When you are like me, you know zat ze slopes are for ze chic, not ze sheet. Ah'm a skier, not a movie star, oui? Zut alors. Ah sink zey should be shot. Or sent to Québec, peut-etre.

Ze ozer side of San Tanntonn ees ze town eetself. Eet's not ze preetiest of places and ze whole place ees full of ze stewpeed snowboarders. Zat's enough about zem. Ah'm starteen to feel 'orreeble joost sinkin about zose rodents. San Tanntonn 'as a great nuitlife, 'avin plenty of bars and cloobs.

Ze problème ees zat zere are often 'undreds of dirtay Breets, clogging ze place up wiz zair ale and sandweeches. Sandweeches, Ah tell you. Zat crappay white bread wiz ze boring fromage and zat stinky brown sheet on eet. Ah would not feed eet to ma chien. And zey 'ave no taste een cloz or musique, neezer.

What ees zis Oasis sheet? Zey need a good 'aircut and a strong dose of ze Europop, non? Alors, ze ozer food een San Tanntonn ees preety bonne, joost stay clear of ze Eenglish. Ah myself enjoy ze poulet, but ze rosbif ees luvly, also. But zis tradeetionelle Ostreean food ees simplay 'orreeble. Zey should steek to ze yodellin'. And ze groween of ze facial 'air. But zat ees joost ma opinionionion.

En general, San Tanntonn ees a great place for ze reech to show 'ow leettle skill zey 'ave, and 'ow zair monnay 'as made zem even worse. For zis raison, Ah am goin to go and 'ave a laugh, raht now.

You should come and join me 'ere een zis formidable spot, especially eef you are a preety laydee oo likes to 'ave a good time wiz ze vertical drops and all zat…